For the past number of months I’ve been attempting to get healthier. Eating well, exercising and hoping the numbers on the scale and the inches on the tape measure decline. It’s been slow going! VERY slow as far as I’m concerned, at least on the weight loss part. I’ve definitely gained some strength & have also led a mainly healthy eating plan.
When I saw this Kin’s Market challenge I thought, “why the hell not?” and so I entered, immediately forgetting I had until I received a phone call. Suddenly, now that March 1st has arrived and the challenge begins, this whole being in “public” during my attempt at getting healthier and increasing my fitness level has become very intimidating!
Seeing my face in the paper, finding out my body fat percentage, sharing that with anyone who reads the paper… it scares the S#*T out of me! So what am I afraid of? FAILURE, a word that I have recently told myself I would eradicate from my vocabulary. But what am I failing at? What is the goal here? I know I’m already getting healthier, I know I’m stronger than I was 5 months ago. I’ve built muscle. I eat well. It can only get better from here …… right?!
Somewhere in my mind there’s some level of perfection I’m attempting to attain. I know that leaving this vague notion of something perfect in my mind will get me nowhere. Perfection, as far as I’m concerned, is unattainable – why? Because if, or should I say when, I reach whatever that “goal” is, my expectations are yet again raised. So here I am, wanting to run for the hills, cringing at being in the Surrey Leader on a weekly basis & having to share my story to the public. I’m afraid that I will somehow let someone down because I couldn’t lose the inches or weight in the right amount of time.
I need to change my thought pattern, remove the pressure and remind myself this is a journey about health, and improving it – along with improving my fitness level. It’s about living a full and satisfying life.
I know for me the fear of failure has often taken the form of excuses and rationalizations about why I can’t do something. “Oh I’m so busy today”, “I don’t feel well”, “the kids need me at home”, “I need to fold socks”, “I’m tired”, “it’s raining out”…..
Fear of the unknown becomes your jailer and your prison. You stagnate. Wasn’t it FDR that said, “ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!”?
So it’s time for me to drop the fear, gain a healthier life and hopefully also drop some pounds. Oh and maybe the occasional shove in the right direction by someone won’t hurt!
Want to go for a walk? I’ll find a way to go with you! Want to meet me at the gym?! Want to share healthy recipe ideas? … I’m open to it all! WE can do this!
Here’s a photo I took this past summer … I added a little quote to the photo. I have this as the homepage on my cell phone as a daily reminder!
And a cool little acronym I found.